The Deal Read online

  Antalya is a Turkish ocean-side resort town.

  “I’m allowed holiday, aren’t I?” Andreu asked innocently.

  The bartender placed my cocktail in front of me. I picked it up and we clinked glasses.

  “Anyway, sounds like you’re working hard enough for both of us. You’ve become a superstar.”

  “You get fired by your board of directors or something? You looking to land a job as my publicist?”

  “You’ve always known what you want, Jonah. I have always admired that.”

  “Seriously, do you owe me money or something? Or did you really just come all this way to kiss my ass?”

  He started laughing.

  “I remember you saying it to me, man.”

  My expression became serious. This comment confused me.

  “You remember me saying what?”

  “It was the summer between your two years of business school when you and your father met us in Antibes. It was a few years before my father died. We were sitting by the pool at the Hotel Du Cap, overlooking the Mediterranean. You had just been talking to some gorgeous blond girl in a white bikini. When she excused herself you took a sip of your Domaines Ott and closed your eyes, putting your face right in the sun’s rays.”

  “The detail here is a bit eerie, my friend,” I said jokingly. “Have you been noticing me from afar or some shit like that?”

  “Shut up, won’t you? Anyway, that was when you said to me the strangest thing. You go, eyes still closed as you faced the sky, ‘I need to get back to school!’ ”

  “I said that?”

  “You said that. And I remember thinking to myself, ‘How the fuck can this guy be thinking about school at a time like this?’ So, I asked you. I said, ‘Why the fuck would you want to be back in school right now?’ ”

  “Yeah? What’d I say?”

  “That the sooner you could get back to school, the closer you would be to taking New York City as your own.”

  I thought for a moment.

  “Yeah, that sounds about right. I definitely could have said that.”

  “I know you, Jonah. I know that even though you come from cash you had dreams you wanted to fulfill on your own. How does that feel?”

  “You must need something from me. Is that why you’re in Manhattan?”

  “You’re damn right. I do need something from you. I promise you, you’re going to love me for it!”

  We were seated in the corner of the dining room at the most secluded table available. Immediately, the waiter approached us and we ordered another round of drinks. As I glanced around, I noticed what a varied bunch we were amongst. At the sushi bar was a fifty-something Italian looking guy with slicked-back hair and way too many rings on his thick fingers. He was wearing jeans, a white button-down, and some type of black leather vest. With him was a physically gifted black woman, who must have been almost six feet tall, sporting a shaved head. She too was in jeans, and a lavender button-down shirt open to her navel as her large chest basically jumped out of her bra. Two tables down from us was a group of four—two couples. The two girls were playing games under the table while the two guys were doing the same. I pointed.

  “New York City in the summer. I love it.” Andreu exclaimed.

  “How’s your mother? Still at it with the art?”

  “Every day. And your father? Still scaring the shit out of everyone?”

  “Every day.”

  We laughed again.

  “She still as interested in the company as she used to be?”

  “Nah. Once my father died she went from art and Prevkos to just art.”

  “How about you? Tell me about the natural gas business.”

  “Ahhh, Jonah, all we have done over the years is grow and grow. We are as big as we have ever been. Not to mention the...how do Americans say...perks for running a company so vital to our country’s success. I’m Mr. Worldwide. More access to people and places than Putin!”

  “I do my own reading from time to time about you and Prevkos. You seemed, I don’t know, so casual about everything when you took over for your father. I never doubted your intelligence but you were so young for such a huge role that I can’t help saying I was concerned. I’m happy to realize that I didn’t need to be. Your father would be pleased with the job you’ve done.”

  Andreu appreciatively tipped his near-empty glass, and then the waiter appeared with our fresh drinks. He told us the specials. We, in turn, told him we needed a few more minutes to decide.

  “Who you dating, these days? Or should I ask first how many there are?” Andreu went on.

  “Please, as if you’re not the future poster boy for bigamy.”

  Andreu clutched a fistful of the shirt covering his chest and hunched forward over the table.

  “Ouch, right into my heart. Please, stop twisting.”

  “Being serious here for a moment, Andreu. What really brings you to New York?”

  Andreu took a sip of his drink.

  “Were you surprised to hear from me this morning?”

  “You might say that.”

  “I’m here because Prevkos has decided to expand their business.”

  “How so?”

  “We’ve been having serious internal discussions over the last six months or so, and we want to get involved here in the United States.”

  “In the natural gas business.”

  “Not exactly.”

  “Then I’m not sure I follow you.”

  At that moment the waiter appeared.

  “Are you ready to order?”

  “Sure,” Andreu said.

  We quickly grabbed the menus and scanned.

  Andreu continued, “I’ll start with a spicy tuna roll and a green salad. Then I’ll go with the filet mignon cooked rare. Tell me about the sauce it comes in. Spicy?”

  “Quite. It’s a Brazilian—”

  “Good then, that’ll be fine. The spicier the better.”

  The waiter was without pen and paper, as all good New York City waiters are.

  “And for you, sir?”

  “I’ll start with the blue-corn crusted calamari, followed by the Arctic Char in the tomato salsa.”

  “Very good, gentlemen.”

  The waiter walked away.

  “Like I was saying, I’m not following you.”

  “Real estate, Jonah. We are looking to get involved in buildings.”

  “Excuse me?”

  I looked at Andreu as if he were kidding.

  “What do you mean get involved with buildings?”

  “What the fuck do you think I mean? We want to buy some buildings. An entire portfolio perhaps.”

  “Oh, an entire portfolio perhaps? Listen to you. Andreu, you guys don’t know the first thing about real estate in this city.”

  “But you do. And we understand good business. It’s no secret what has happened to the real estate market over the last couple of years, especially since 9/11. We feel there are definitely valuable opportunities out there and we want to invest in something solid. Something we truly feel will grow in value over the course of the next generation.”

  “Very nice. Capitalize on my country’s misery.”

  “Don’t be a dickhead,” Andreu said, acknowledging my twisting of his words. “It’s part of our diversification and risk disbursement strategy for the future. There are too many growing threats in both the physical and economical climates surrounding the world’s natural gas environment for us not to get involved with other industries. It’s a simple situation of trying to throw off some risk.”

  I took a long sip of my drink, finishing it.

  “How long have you and your firm been thinking about this?”

  “We have been discussing it off and on for years. At this point we are one of the largest companies in the world. We have liquid reserves coming out of our asses. With what has happened to the economic climate, and the fact that the commerci
al real estate market here is on the rebound, the timing just seems right. We happen to be in a perfect position to ride this wave.”

  “Why me?”

  “Because I trust you. More importantly, because you’re the best.”

  I got the attention of the waiter.

  “Yes?”

  “We need another round.”

  “And two shots of the strongest vodka you pussy Americans drink,” Andreu added.

  “Shots?” I asked.

  “You look like you could use one.”

  “Andreu, what are you looking to do? I mean, do you want to go in with partners, do you want Class A property as opposed to Class B—”

  “No partners, Jonah. Just Prevkos. And as far as what to buy, that’s why I’ve come to you on behalf of our entire board.”

  “How much are you looking to part with?”

  “Half a billion to get our feet wet. If all goes as planned, we build from there.”

  I was stunned. I couldn’t say a fucking word. Andreu leaned forward.

  “Looks like I finally got your attention.”

  “You want me to shop for New York City buildings with a half billion dollars of your shareholders’ money?”

  “Now we’re getting somewhere.”

  “This is crazy.”

  “Too much for you to handle?”

  “Not even close,” I retorted. “I just don’t think you fully understand what you’re getting into here.”

  “Oh yeah? Why’s that?”

  “New York City commercial real estate is tricky. Most of the properties are owned by enormous corporations or major families who don’t just give up what’s been theirs for almost a century. If it’s not one of them, it is some real estate conglomerate that has probably gone public in the last few years.”

  “I don’t give a fuck who owns what. I don’t care if we have to get what we want from General Electric or fight the board of Vornado. I don’t mind if I have to knock some old farts dick in the dirt—everything has a price. Everyone is always going to listen if they are being offered a premium.”

  The first clue that Andreu had actually been doing his homework.

  “Did you just say Vornado?”

  “Come on, Jonah. You didn’t think I’d come to talk with you before doing my research?”

  I was impressed. Vornado is one of the largest REITs, or Real Estate Investment Trusts, in the country. Within the last few years they had picked up a substantial amount of property in the city.

  “I decided on you because you are very trusted within the industry, and your team is well respected. This is what my board needs. We need someone to go in with all the artillery possible. I know you have worked hard to get where you are, but this will take you to a whole new level. I’m giving you the opportunity to make the deal of a lifetime. If nothing else, think of the commission.”

  I already had been, since I heard the words “half a billion” dollars. The truth was this would most likely be one of the biggest deals I would close in my life, and we both knew it.

  “I should mention, Jonah, that there is a catch.”

  “Isn’t there always?”

  “We need this deal to close within three weeks.”

  “Excuse me?”

  “You heard me. Three weeks.”

  “Not possible,” I said flatly.

  “9/11, Jonah. By sun-up the next morning, American Express had a lease in place for a million square feet in New Jersey.”

  “Apples to oranges,” I countered, testing him. “There is a significant difference between leasing space and buying it.”

  “It’s all just business, Jonah. It’s all just negotiated terms and money.”

  “Not possible,” I said again.

  “Why not?”

  “Why not? Shit, Andreu, I could drop fifty reasons without pausing.”

  “Give me the most significant one.”

  “Due diligence. You have no idea how many different exercises there are for a potential buyer to perform the due diligence of a commercial property. Everything from roof inspection to systems evaluations to the property’s code compliance history to zoning—there are more things that need to be checked than you can imagine. That’s why a due diligence period is usually from ninety to a hundred and twenty days. It’s basically a forensic process, and what I’ve just explained is only for a single building. It’s a whole different paradigm for an entire portfolio, one that includes intense dissection and forecasting of inflation, interest, and vacancy rates as well as future construction costs. What you are asking us to complete in three weeks is unheard of.”

  “I understand that the due diligence, done correctly, takes a long time. But does it have to take that long—let’s just say—in a perfect world?”

  “Where are we going here, Andreu?”

  “Please, old friend, humor me.”

  Our fresh drinks were placed on the table. I thought for a second, took a nice swallow of my cocktail, and thought for a second more.

  “In a Utopian society, I guess not.”

  “Why not?”

  “Like everything else, the timing issue could probably be cured with money.”

  “Explain.”

  “Simply put, these people are contractors and salaried employees. People with lives, families, other professional commitments. They are not the types of individuals who are on call twenty-four hours a day, seven days a week like surgeons. You have to remember, it is very hard to get people to really care about entities owned by others. At the end of the day, people only care about what’s theirs.”

  “And money talks.” Andreu followed along.

  “Exactly. The inspection teams you are talking about retaining would have to be paid a serious premium for their time.”

  Andreu cracked a half smirk as he shifted his weight.

  “Money is not an issue here, Jonah. We understand that we are creating some—um — trying circumstances, but we also understand that we are going to have to pay for creating such circumstances. All you have to do is get everything lined up.”

  Andreu picked up his shot then handed me mine before continuing. “Let me worry about supplying the necessary resources.”

  He held up his still full shot glass, and cocked his head as if he was looking for me to toast, validate his words. I wasn’t ready.

  “Attorneys.”

  “Attorneys?” Andreu mimicked.

  “Absolutely. Not just with the actual transfer of title, but even to deal with the minutia of the language in the contracts between Prevkos and, let’s say, the companies performing the inspections. These people don’t begin to attack a building without the proper measures having been taken. Their rates, their protection against claims, there are all types of legal issues that can and will arise. I promise you, it will only make things that much tougher trying to negotiate these types of agreements with your counsel halfway around the globe.”

  “Of course. We’d have to grant you power of attorney.”

  “You’re pretty quick to say that considering you’re responsible for running one of the largest corporations in the world.”

  “No, I’m not, Jonah. Trust me, it’s something our board has had extensive discussions about. We wouldn’t pretend to be so arrogant as to think we could negotiate such contracts. We are very comfortable giving you power of attorney. To protect ourselves, we would do so in a way that gives you such power only for our real estate affairs and negotiations in New York City, and only for a limited period of time. In this case, the three weeks we are talking about. This way, no offense, you couldn’t touch any other areas of our business outside this deal even if you wanted to.”

  “No offense taken. Andreu, what about government agencies, municipalities from both countries? I understand the desired timing is strictly an internal decision driven by perceived market conditions, but people are going to start asking a lot of questions pertaining to the need f
or such a fast transaction.”

  “Meaning?” countered Andreu, fully understanding where I was going.

  “I’m just asking the questions I should be, Andreu.”

  “You think we massage our numbers, Jonah?” he went on, smiling.

  “What I’m saying is that, as we both know, Russian firms are perceived to handle their internal finances differently than American firms. I just want to remind you that people will start asking questions about Prevkos. And they’ll start asking fast.”

  “Which is precisely what I want. Our financials are impeccable. As a public company we’re used to offering ourselves up for unequivocal scrutiny. The quicker the questions come, the faster the answers come. It will just make those involved that much more comfortable with us in terms of making a fast, clean transaction.”

  “I’ll need to get a copy of your proof of citizenship and identity. In fact, I’ll need it for whoever will have the authority to deliver decisions on behalf of your shareholders. It’s strictly enforced company policy for international transactions. All board members or—”

  “I represent the official voice of the board, Jonah. Always. And I have no problem giving you all of my papers.”

  “You’re talking about a lot of cash here. Not just for whatever property you obtain, but for the due diligence alone involved in selecting the right purchase.”

  “The beauty of living in the age of wire transfers, my friend. I understand you would need to keep funds on hand. We set up an account over here and I supply you immediately with the funds you need to do your homework. Once we’ve settled on the target, we zap the money overseas and put it in escrow until it is time to, hopefully, pull the trigger.”

  “Cash held in escrow in the States would have to be with the bank of PCBL’s choice, Andreu.”

  That meant Salton Lynear Bank, the preferred financial services provider of PCBL.

  “Since we’re talking about so much cash it is imperative I’m able to utilize my relationships. It’s the only way to ensure moving cash through the unavoidable red tape as quickly as we’ll need to.”

  “Of course. I understand that,” Andreu responded.

  “Who handles your banking?” I asked.

  “We deal with Tenvix.”

  Tenvix International, headquartered in Moscow. I was familiar with the bank.